Moving in to the life that you want...

The sun has arrived in Oregon!! It is a bit early and it probably won't last much longer (we'll see it again around Independence Day) but it is here now and I feel it's catalytic magic.  I've talked about it before, but I am moving in to a new time, a new scenario, a new path.  Finally, I feel like the steps I am taking are more firm and pointed in more of a direction-- I am more comfortable now that the path is going up and down hills and valleys to a better place that I do not know... but I do know that the path is there.  And it is populated with kind folk and so much beauty.

 

Things setting that path before me are some of the old standards... sewing,  quilting, photography, gardening, and my dear sweet children.

 

New endeavours are powering me down the path too... My first bag project is coming out this month (Stitch with Style) and it has LEATHER!  I am immersing myself more in the design process and printmaking (woodblock printing totally makes you feel like a badass) (knives!!) I am also remembering to breathe.  Lots and lots of breathing going on around here... oxygen = clear head (or clearer.)

I read something last week on elephant journal via Facebook-- because, don't you just find EVERYTHING deep on FB these days? ;)  It talked about moving from a "positive attitude" into "well-being".  My "take home" message was (and is) our place of "well-being" is grounded not just in smiling and being happy or content but in the truth of the human struggle that always accompanies us.  With this struggle is the truth that we are not alone and the world full of kindness and beauty-- but there is an element of reaching out that needs to happen.  For me, I am reaching, well-being is happening (although is it kind of mysterious), and I hope, for you too.

JMB

Be True

"Be true to your work, your word, and your friend."

Henry David Thoreau

:)

Happy today to have so many good friends and to have so much work to do.

JMB

Be Good

 

 "A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind."

 Richard Dehmel (1863-1920)

 Poet, Playwright

It is so true-- I keep trying to add more, but really, why?

:)

Be Good 

JMB

 

Greetings Earthlings!

I did not know what to write today, only that it needs to happens.  Not needed, but needs... not past, but present and future.  The last two years laid me OUT, filleted me, and I am hoping-- cut out some of the extra shit that isn't worth carrying along.  Is it an early "mid-life" thing or is it just a LIFE thing?   We know the answer to that... oh yes we do. 

LIFE- beautiful/ugly, complex/simple, present-necessary, sometimes as painful as hell.

I am so glad that I take pictures.  When I sat down today I was going to write something so very different.  I put the pictures in for a short sweet note--- and they did not sing a shortly or sweetly.  Today they are sang to me of aching beauty, brutal change, and walking through it all to right now.  Motion is key.

January 2013-- Eugene, Oregon lived some beautiful frosty days.  I was not living beautiful days, but thought that being in the frosty terrain might shift that.  Taking my camera, my body, and walking out to look.  I looked behind (above) and I looked ahead (below).

Looking at these moments right now, on March 1, they both look COLD--FREEZING--BARE--Beautiful. 

I can see that there is a path and a place to go, but WHERE?  And I am so happy to say that I went, I do not know where, but I moved my sad fanny down that path. I walked myself right in--to the next moment because I.  Did. Not. Want. To. Stay. There.  I am accepting today that I have no control over where is... but I can walk my self down the path until I like the where better.  Maybe it is going to take a while, but I. Can. Walk.

I am a photographer.  I take pictures of EVERY thing around me, I need them. The pictures the last 2 years have been helpful and brutal highlighters to my memories.  I took a number of pictures of my mom's house after she died, I took pictures of her in her hospital bed, pictures of my us in her room with her.   They are raw and I probably won't show them... but they help me.  This year I am doing a self portrait every Friday.  I want to be able to look at me (January me above.)  I want to see myself.

Today, March 1, I am right here... a different place, maybe not where I want to be, but it is not on that frosty path.  That is the only thing that I know.  I am not on that frosty path.  Thank God, I am not on that frosty path.

I keep walking.  

The past week has been about having my mind blown at QuiltCon and spending time with my Grandparents in Colorado.  

QuiltCon was like taking a vacation to be ME.  I was crazy, but really myself... my- ME. (you know the ME isn't slogging and getting bogged down in the daily BS.) Seeing her again was pretty great-- I am so glad she is still alive.  Sometimes I forget that she is still hanging out here-- and that we are actually walking the path together?! What-what?! Yes!

My Grandparents, my mother's mom and daddy.  They are in their late 80's and are THE most active people I have ever met.   They have outlived 2 of their 5 children, lived through the Great Depression and WWII, as well as the rest of the last 80+ years of history. Were they perfect parents? No.  Are they perfect people? No. They are 2 people LIVING, and that is messy and beautiful.  

They have kept walking, literally and figuratively (you can walk any age), through each and every curve that life has brought their way.  They do what they can with what they have... every day.  That is what I want.  That is what I want this space to continue to be.  There is no room in LIFE to be scared-- have fear, yes-- but then walk on.  I am walking right now, and I hope that you are too.

Thank you Grandma, for providing me a path back to here.

JMB

Above and Below

Hi friends

Sometimes all I know is that which is above my head and below my feet. 

Today is interesting.  Tomorrow is still an idea and Yesterday is gone and done.

Times are a changing... and I am hopeful for good.  The space between now and August has been long and short-- mostly winding, full of seeking and learning.

I am still learning... and seeking.  You too?  I hope so.

Here are some places to see what I have been making and doing:
Winter Stitch (The love mitts on pg 2 of the table of contents)
Holiday Fat Quarterly (Issue 11-- Art quiver!)

I am so pleased to be counted in such talented company. So many great projects for your holiday crafting!  Happy.

See you round- sooner rather than later.  I am sure of it.

JMB

Just images... and a few thoughts

I have written posts in my head so many times the past few weeks.  But then I am moving through the day, the beautiful summer day with my tribe... and it seems like the movement is what is important to all of us right now.  So I must just go with that, no?

We are all growing and changing so much right now.  My two year old little Mango will be three at the beginning of next month.  And she already seems to be three (maybe 7?) in deeds right now.  There is so much to share with her brothers, her father, and I.  It seems as if she has always been with us... but she is only two!

I have been noticing the space that we each hold in our tribe, our place, our role.  Sister, Brother, Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Wife, Husband, Partner, Clown, Audience, Rock, Mess, Talker, Listener, Planner, Leader, Follower.  Noticing that sometimes these spaces need to be adjusted and swapped, allowed to be more fluid as they fit us or discarded if they no longer work.

It is a space for movement that allows each of us to feel most comfortable in our skins and in our family.  When I was younger I never understood the danger of rigidity, inflexibility, and how it can lead to injury so easily. Like trying to stretch in to a forward bend in Yoga-- and it just isn't going to happen by force. Rigidness seemed like a valid notion, a decent framework to hang a life on.  There are definites there, boundaries.  But rigidity gets so stale and dated, even before you know it, and can become unuseful.  Then what are you left with? Something that isn't working and isn't able to change.

With movement, we adjust to things in life that might surprise us, enchant us, or derail us. Flexibility insures that we stay intact as individuals and as a whole no matter what life throws our way.  Maybe we don't touch our toes the first Yoga class, but with movement by the third class we can grasp that big toe and it feels SO good.  Isn't that what family is?  An entity to itself, a whole that needs care and space to change as seasons march ever forward, kids grow, jobs shift, and directions adjust.

This summer has been about taking that breath, sometimes it is more of a controlled shudder (but breath is the goal.) I am breathing, looking at my tribe, being with them, moving through this time, and being patient about what I am going to grow in to, and what we are going to grow in to, together.

JMB

15

The Promise- Tracy Chapman
If you wait for me
then I'll come for you
Although I've traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart

If you think of me
If you miss me, once in a while
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

If you dream of me
Like I dream of you
In a place that's warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

I've longed for you
And I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
Please say you'll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise
If it's one that you can keep
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me

And say you'll hold
A place for me
In your heart.

Sometimes what was relevant in the beginning is even more so after many years. 
-JMB