Thursday, December 08, 2011

There more but... isn't that always how it is?!

This week has passed in a blur. It is the last week of school for us before the BIG VACAY!! Big Daddy has been traveling an ridiculous amount---- and

--- Yup, that was me taking a sigh break. I can't believe it, but yesterday in the hallway AT school, I said to a few other moms that I didn't really care for the new therapist I have been seeing. BUT, I think that I am going to keep seeing her, BECAUSE it forces me to find help for my kids and be "not mom" for ONE WHOLE HOUR A WEEK! We all laughed. They did, because it was AWKWARD (and a bit identifiable) and me because, once again the old MOUTH was moving light years faster than my SOCIAL filters. The rest of the afternoon was just a free-for-all because Big Daddy was FINALLY coming home and I was pondering what I had realized...

Having my youngest turning 2 has been kind of an underground weirdness... at this point with the boys I was already planning my next pregnancy. There aren't going to be any more, so the paradigm shifts and I am floating out here in uncharted waters. I am seeing that there is going to be a day (sooner than I think) that I am going to be "not mom" for hours at a time. What is that going to mean for me? Do I really think that I am going to fill that time cleaning and doing housework?!! What is the next phase? I think THAT is the fetus I am gestating now... (I just wanted to write fetus)

Frida--- I have been thinking a lot about Frida these days. The colors she used, the dark and light aspects of her art, the intimacy of her self portraits-- I just want to know more. Is there anything that you just want to know more of? Curiosity is a comfort.

So-- I bet you all have been sleeping restlessly, tossing and turning, wondering WHO won the STITCH Gifts 2011 magazine. The random number generator picked #4 and that was a lovely lady named Hilda. We have been in touch and it is winging its way to her house. I was so surprised to see all the new people who commented. It was like THIS year there are an entire DIFFERENT 9 people reading this blog. You poor people, it has been a rather rough year. I am really sooooo much different when the whole Cancer-thing is not a part of everyday life. It has been nice to have a place to put some of those feelings, a safe place, with nice people. Isn't that all any of us want?

I may be back this week with something lighter... I did find a AWESOME silver tinsel tree for $3 and it has been cheering me up as the Willamette Valley has moved in to the damp freeze zone.


Kristin said...

My youngest went from staying home with me all day last year to Kindergarten in the fall and then was bumped up to first grade last month. Talk about at a loss! I was prepared and enjoying 2 hours alone, but 7? You'd think my house would be clean and I'd being doing tons of baking and crafting, but somehow it doesn't work out that way. And the moving to the country and the crappy weather, and I'm beginning to go stir crazy.

Tonya Ricucci said...

woohoo for getting a vacation together!!!! hmm, planning a wonderful creative project sounds like a fabulous way to spend time. forget about the cleaning stuff....

stitchinpenny said...

Staying home with my children didn't work out when I was a mom to preschool and school age children. I often wondered how different life would have been when my older very wise daughter told me that I just needed to accept life as it was and not worry about the past and to look forward to the wonder of the future while breathing in every second of the present. Smart kid.

Pinkadot Quilts said...

They grow up so fast! Enjoy your family time together, Merry Christmas.