Wow, I guess when you really need some kindness you need only to hold out your hand. I really appreciate all of your kind and gentle words. My heart is full. I finished hand stitching the binding on two quilts today and was able to take a step back from the work, the tired fingers, and the myopic monotony and see their beauty. My chickens are finished and I look at them and think "Did I really make that?" "How far you have come friend...". They will get hung tomorrow at the show and I will be sure to get a picture of them, with them to share with you all.
I, again, can't help but liken my struggles with depression to my struggles with finishing my quilts....the minutiae at the end blurs the picture of the whole. Usually near the end of a project, I am so sick of looking at the it that I just put it in the corner and start on something new. Seeing it to the end is where the glory is. Wow, what a feeling, to put the finished quilt on the couch or the quilt rack instead of back in the craft room out of sight. To take stock of all the things I have learned with the project, things that initially seemed too hard and very daunting, that now seem second nature. It is good to have that chance of reflection and appreciation of a job well done.
Yesterday, my note to myself and to share, was a chance at reflection. I am heartened that it struck a chord. I feel a bit shy about being so open, but now I can go back and read it tomorrow, or next year. I can think about the growth that I have experienced or just feel buoyed by the kind words that I recorded for myself and the cheers of encouragement that you all were so kind to give.
Thank you
JMB
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7 comments:
Anytime you need encouragement or just someone to listen, then you know you just need to post. Looking forward to seeing your quilts hanging in the show - woohoo for you!
awesome letter to your self. Love it! And hugs all around, because you rock girl!! Can't wait to see pictures of your quilts!
you know you're not alone - and that is a great feeling (because all too often depression is all about feeling alone)
Can't wait to see the quilts!!!!!
I've been spiralling down into the depths too, but I find that lots of me time - quilting, reading, sleeping - really does help. Also talking about it to someone who is prepared to listen (i.e us lot) helps a million.
Don't keep it bottled up - blog it!
Big hug coming across The Pond.
Great job of self-assessment! Good on you :- ) I often hesitate to discuss what I feel to be personal matters in such a public forum; I think you're very brave. You've also inpsired me to try to be a little braver myself.
Jessica - okay, now I know! I have a lot of growing to do on the blog scene. I think you must be the consumate blogger! Your blogs are great! I will work on mine...
By the way - like I said last night, it is hard hard hard to be a stay at home mom. It is hard to give so much of yourself to the little people that you wonder if there is any left for you. It is also hard to be without stimulating adult conversation. You start to feel as if you might also be 2 (or 5). But what you are doing is worthwhile. And you do it well. You juggle yourself and your kids - sometimes the balls fall, but that is okay. Just try again tomorrow. I am open anytime you want to huddle with a cup of tea, let the kids run in the background, and just unload.
I think time off to reflect is essential. It helps to realize progress and development. Great life lesson.
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