Monday, November 23, 2009

D.S.B.

D.S.B
that stands for Desparately Seeking Balance...
I feel off kilter.
I don't like it but it is normal for me at this time of the year to feel out of sorts. I am still thinking it is the darkening of the days. This year it is that, AND getting used to 3 kiddos, AND new routines, and being able to only do SO much.

I desire to:
-finish some of my projects
-start new ones
-make Christmas gifties
-blog 3x a week
-live in a tidy home
-be a wonderful mom to my kids
-exercise
-sleep
I end up really only having time to mother my children (mostly well). The other things don't fit in right now. Sometimes I get to make a mess in the craft room, sometimes I can do a little yoga with Blondie boy, but really it is baby time around here. Can I feel a little sad that I want to be doing other things sometimes, even though I know that babies are so fleeting?

I made my welcome sign the other day because I had to. I had to make something and I couldn't stop until it was done.

This is where I am these days. Not entirely comfortable, but OK.
JMB

8 comments:

Brenda said...

I remember those days well. I used to sneak into my sewing room to sew a little t-shirt for my sons just to prove that I had done something that day other than care for children and clean and wash and do it all over again. its a lovely welcome sign and good for you for taking some me time to be creative. hang in there!

Lily Boot said...

Absolutely you can dear girl! It is perfectly good to want to be yourself as well as a mother - if it was any other way, it would be wrong! 'Cause the mother you are is shaped first and foremost by the wonderful person that you are. I'm cheering you on to find moments of being Jessica and relishing them. The rest will come naturally.

Lazy Gal Tonya said...

Love love love the welcome banner. Sigh, I never get to my list of shoulds, like exercise, and I don't even have kids.

Alex said...

Hi! I am part of the Traveling Threads and thought I would come and visit your blog. Your welcome sign is great! I should add it to my to-do list...

Diane said...

Balance ~ aye, there's the rub! It's perfectly normal to miss aspects of your life (and yourself) from prebaby days. Knowing it's normal doesn't make it easier to deal with though, does it? I used to feel like I was "stealing" moments from my kids each time I sat down to sew. And yet, without the sewing, I was a grouchy mama. It's a vicious cycle! Perhaps it helps just a little to know that we understand and can assure you that it gets easier with time.

KnitOneQuiltTooKristin said...

I love your sign. As many moms will say, enjoy the time with little ones. It really does go so fast. I can't believe my teens are getting ready to go out in the world. I miss those days of playing, reading and snuggling. On the other hand, I'm getting loads of quilting done. Just breathe, it will all come in time.

emilyruth said...

i can't figure out the balance either...
but i sure like your 'welcome' :)
& the fact that i get to see you at least three times a week,
even if sometimes it is just through the windshield :)

Yaz and Rob said...

I think that is a hefty to do list with a newborn. Christmas and gifts will happen next year as well. I think if you did two of the things on that list, I would be impressed! Hugs. Yaz