Saturday, December 12, 2009

Wow...

It has been a long time since I have been around here. I have been having a rough time. There is no kind way to put it. The seasonal depression stuff has hit me hard this year. I have so many things to be thankful for and I really really am... but some hours it is like a fog has enveloped me and I have to work really hard to keep it all going. I do keep going and it is pretty good, but this year it seems rather harder.

Last week all of a sudden I was surprised that I wasn't 20 any more. It hit me when I was feeling so tired and I looked around the room and I was the only grown-up there. Maybe other people are totally with it, but for just a moment I was surprised that I was the parent to these 3 beautiful kids. Does that even make sense to you? For a moment I had this, "where did the last 15 years go??" kind of surrealness. Who thought that I could be in charge of ALL THIS? Don't the people know that I am just making this up as I go along??? Then the moment passed and I was the Mom, and it was OK.
I do take great cheer and comfort from my little quilties when I am feeling blue. Here are two that I haven't shared yet (time keeps ticking away). They are two of my recent favorites. My partners were so right on with the colors and the are like sunshine to me on these grey Oregon days. The one with the sewing machine is from Ariel, I love it so much. It was from Doll Quilt Swap #7, and it was one that I wanted when she first posted her pictures. She is very talented. You can see more of what she is up to here.

The second quiltlet is actually a placemat...but it is too pretty to eat on. It was from the placemat swap #1 on flickr. That material girl made it for me. She really knew about my love of Kaffe Fassett. The little chicken just charms me.

I look at these and they make me happy, but yes it has been tough around here.
JMB

PS
On a fun note, I won Soulemama's giveaway this weekend... 8 FQ of BEAUTIFUL fabric... that is a nice way to wake up!

10 comments:

Marit said...

Sending you a quilty hug! It is a dark and cold time of the year. I love to light a lot of candles and snuggle under a quilt, around this time. Love your little quilts, they are little darlings. Hope you'll feel better, soon ... and maybe have some time to do some sewing, too. I keep thinking of your pretty orange and blue quiltblocks from Gwen and Freddy's book / workshop...

Katy said...

Hang on in there - this time of year is tough. Sometimes I feel like the whole build up to Christmas is too much and it overwhelms me. Every year I say 'next year I'll simplify it' and then never do.

Lazy Gal Tonya said...

urgh, so sorry to hear you're blue. That fog IS miserable. I hope you get tons of sun and joy soon. Take care and lots of hugs from here.

Hilda said...

You're not alone...Consider light therapy and also have your thyroid checked. I live in NM where we generally have abundant sunshine...three cloudy days in a row, and I start feeling it. Good luck. Your bright quiltlets are great.

Alex said...

Oh how I can relate...I have asked myself the same question too..where did the last 15 years go? I am married with 3 children? How did that happen? Well..we all know how ;)
Anyway, winter is difficult on me too, but this year has been a little easier. I have been taking vitamin D supplements since the fall and I think that's helping. I also make sure to go out of the house as often as possible, for fresh air, especially if it's sunny. ((hug))

Diane said...

2176 comments on Soulmama's post and you won! Well done! That fabric is adorable.

The new little quilts are great and I'm glad to see you have them on display to cheer you daily.

With friendship, support, and admiration for all you do, I wish you and your family a peaceful holiday season.

Yaz and Rob said...

Hi Friend!

I am back as well, in your blogland...that is. Miss you and lets have coffee this week, or something. Sending lots of hugs.
Yaz

emily ruth said...

love you, my friend...

KnitOneQuiltTooKristin said...

What a fabulous mini quilt wall! I hope you are feeling better soon. What you need is some sun. Have you ever tried one of those lights for SAD?

woolywoman said...

Yep, sometimes I look around the house and think "when will the parents be home? We are out of diet cokes and these kids are getting on my nerves!" lol, because, yep, I'm the mom.