In other news, today, I am sharing something that my old co-worker emailed me. I miss them. Is a 6 minute video, but it made me laugh really genuinely and then I really missed my old job (5 years clean!!) It was not the perfect job for me, but I was able to laugh with those friends like I haven't laughed since. We would get really bored (like A LOT) and we would make up different name for our "bands", you know, and then think of what we would call our "albums". Mostly we were in fictional 80's hair bands or or some kind of emo-British fusion kind of thing. Sometimes it would get so silly that we would laugh until we couldn't breathe. We would go through other cycles where we would listen to the "les Miserables" soundtrack until we were inspired to spend our entire day of lab work talking in song. Probably some people thought we were weird or annoying, but we just didn't care. I really miss that.
Yesterday my mother got YET more bad news about her cancer. I am so angry that it is hard for me to be sad. The pool of sadness is there, it seems to be really deep. I can feel it. I dip my toes in every so often but then back out again. I am somewhat worried about drowning in it. Somewhat is an understatement.