Somebody is coming home from Korea today!!!In other news, today, I am sharing something that my old co-worker emailed me. I miss them. Is a 6 minute video, but it made me laugh really genuinely and then I really missed my old job (5 years clean!!) It was not the perfect job for me, but I was able to laugh with those friends like I haven't laughed since. We would get really bored (like A LOT) and we would make up different name for our "bands", you know, and then think of what we would call our "albums". Mostly we were in fictional 80's hair bands or or some kind of emo-British fusion kind of thing. Sometimes it would get so silly that we would laugh until we couldn't breathe. We would go through other cycles where we would listen to the "les Miserables" soundtrack until we were inspired to spend our entire day of lab work talking in song. Probably some people thought we were weird or annoying, but we just didn't care. I really miss that.
Yesterday my mother got YET more bad news about her cancer. I am so angry that it is hard for me to be sad. The pool of sadness is there, it seems to be really deep. I can feel it. I dip my toes in every so often but then back out again. I am somewhat worried about drowning in it. Somewhat is an understatement.
JMB
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6 comments:
I'm guessing that's your husband... glad he'll be home with you soon. so sorry about your mom. it's all horrible, but you'll get through it. take care and mental hugs from me.
I too am sorry about your mom. Hang in there.
I really enjoy your blog and check in often, even listed it on my blog! I lost my mom to lung cancer in December and want you to know that I hear you about the sadness. It is so deep. There is nothing magical to say to ease the sorrow. I found the more I slowed down and sat with the sadness, the easier the rest of the day was - otherwise it just kept building. Also, if I looked at the big picture, it was so overwelming and scary. If I just focused on each moment it was manageable. I kept repeating, "in this moment there is peace" and found that it was true. A hug to you.
Enjoy your homecoming! I am sorry to hear about your mom. :-(
Jess, I am praying for you and your family during this time of trial for you all. I love what Kwilts said earlier, "in this moment there is peace." I am sending up prayers for peace for you.
oh, jess...
i love you so much!
& i'm sad i missed talking to you today...
& sunday night...
& that it was raining on monday morning so we couldn't chat in our usual spot...
(maybe we should get a new spot?
or maybe st. t's should open a coffee shop...)
big hugs to you...
<3
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