Ta Daaaa....

So here it is....

My completion in reverse....not to be poetic, just because I can't figure out the format of this crazy blog page. Oh well...

So I finished it, completed. It felt great to put that last stitch in. Then there was this other feeling, what next?? What next? What do I fill my (few) extra waking moments thinking about or doing?

Ok, so this is the downside to finishing something, the obsession wanes and then there is a void. In the past there was no void to fill because I could always obsess about what I should be doing to finish whatever "it" was.

I think that I am going to have to get used to this "finishing" bit.

JMB

My secret, if I sent it in....

Not me, not my kid....Yes, it's my life. Here I am one year later, sorta tired sometimes....but the bad stress is gone....my late night panic attacks are about my art/craft desires not if I shut off my FIA. Thank goodness.

NO (emphatically), I don't miss the rat race one bit.

Especially not on an exceptionally lovely March day that I spent with my kids at the park. They got totally coated in nasty water and sand. Luckily, I had candy cane striped PJs for the oldest one to slip on to his knobby, colty legs. I can't believe how much can change in a year.

What a beautiful life!

JMB
(again picture from postsecret.blogspot.com)

PS
I talked to a wonderful woman at United the other day and she let me get a ticket.....I am so gonna love it!!!! Watch out you Swedes!

trying not to scream!

I am frustrated

Let's say I am trying to use some of the gobs of frequent flier miles that my dear husband has accumulated over the past 3 years.

Let's say that I want to go to Sweden to visit a friend.

Let's say that I deserve to go, I miss my friend, I need a trip. Did I mention that while my husband was on his work trips I was the single super mom?

Let's say that I was on hold, waiting for a human to help me because a certain airlines (bad, bad UNITED!) website keeps pooping out on me.

Let's say that after 30 minutes a human finally says hello to me, yet when he finds that I want to book an international flight and that the web site is not working that he can "transfer me"

Let's say that this "human" transferred me to a busy signal......

That's it

kicked off.

CRABBY!

JMB

PS

I know that this problem is not life-threatening or on par with war or famine.

But I am still irritated.

Secretos....

First off, I would like to state that I love my Mother-in-Law mucho.

But I had to share this piece of art from another blog, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/, I laughed and laughed and then thought of my dear pseudo-Swedish friend Yasmiene and 5 pounds of bacon and then I laughed some more....my Mother-In-Law has a very keen sense of humor, so I think that she will laugh and laugh also.

JMB

Saying grace....

So, I am wondering how "Grace" before dinner goes at other people's houses.

At our house, for at least the last few weeks (maybe months, since summer) it has gone thus:

Mommy: I am thankful for----(insert different item here daily)

Daddy: I am thankful for---(insert some equally nice thing here)

Eldest son: Me and [my baby brother] are thankful for a

wonderful brother,

wonderful day,

wonderful meal,

that we will never die for a long long time,

and

for mothteetoes (mosquitoes)

All: Amen, Grace

Seriously, day upon day, so it goes.... a love of life and a fear of death, ahh, to be three.

What is it like at yours?

JMB

A short word of wisdom from an unexpected place...

I was listening to an Utne podcast about "How violent video game are making us smarter." I know that a lot of people want to comment on that, but I think that it was just the hook, something to get you to listen, but not the meat of the "story". It was about blah blah blah, gaming, blah blah blah.....

BUT

then there was a sweet small idea that some researcher got from these gamers that went on to become very successful.......

WAIT FOR IT,

You have to fail a lot to have great success.

Of course they went on to talk about other things, but first made the point that in order to gain mastery in these video games you have to try and fail A LOT. These researchers postulated that perhaps that willingness to risk failure enabled them to succeed in their career fields.

I think that a discussion could go many ways from here....but I think that I am going to just take the short sweet message of "failing a lot leads to success".

Ok.....let's go and risk some failure!

JMB

Complete-ness

About my word..... COMPLETE

I have forgotten it a few times this week. I think it was due to the fact that it is written HUGE right by my computer, but no where else in the house. So, this week, since Oldest Child thinks that going "nap-less" is very "in" this year, I have not been looking at my word, nor meditating on my word.

BUT, after I was prompted, I found this quote that I liked:

Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.

Dr. Wayne Dyer

(side note: I am going to look up this Dyer dude to make sure he is not some sort of psycho.)

This is something that I really need to learn in my heart...not just in my head, because I think that it is already there. That I am a complete and whole person, not an apprentice. I think it is all to easy to think that about yourself, you know "I can do something different, what I really want....next year."

This is a lie, I don't know when I even first started believing it. I may have told it to myself to just try to get through uncomfortable times, dangerous, numbing. Eventually, it just becomes a way of "living". "Living" meaning that you are getting by, you look really good, you can say the right things, but you are really small inside, you are scared, you are living a small life. Not risking joy, because you are afraid of failure....and you don't even really look at what failure is, but it is what you are living when you are living the life of an apprentice person.

And now I have found that I am not "on the way to someplace else" I am here, where I want to be. I need to get living.

So, I am off to risk some joy....
See you soon!

JMB